hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
