Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize