It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
