I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
