If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
