You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize