Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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