he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize