My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
