New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
