He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
