I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
