quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
