Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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