remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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