During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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