im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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