I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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