i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
