Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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