and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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