who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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