I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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