Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
