we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
