omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize