At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
