i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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