Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Randomize
