U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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