This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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