It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize