he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
