Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
