So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
