my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
