just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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