i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
