this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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