I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
