I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
