Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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