I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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