Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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