He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
