My sheets look like a crime scene.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
