So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
so much tequila, so little girl.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
