Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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