If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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