its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
MIDGETS
????
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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