Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
