No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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