his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
