come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize