Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Panties = found
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
